When we think of grieving, the first thing we think of is when our cherished ones face their ultimate demise. We think of funerals, wakes, and burials. They say you only experience grief when someone you love passes away, but that is not how grief works. Not everyone has had the experience of sending their loved ones to rest, but does this mean that they haven’t experienced grief? Grief is when you go through its five stages. Grief is when you experience
the pain of loss, and that does not only come from going to funerals and seeing your loved ones for the last time.
Grief can be felt when you notice that the fire of your passion that used to ignite as bright as the sun, is now dimly lit, just flickering, losing its spark. Losing the passion you used to have for something you loved doing hurts. It tears you down like no other. You live day by day doing something that woke you up in the morning with a smile, now it seems like a task, like a chore that you put on the last part of your to-do list since you absolutely dread doing it.
You can go through grief when a relationship that you once cherished and nurtured, devastatingly comes to an end. This can be a relationship that you have with your partner or a friendship. Imagine having to cut off someone you love, trust, cherish, and adore. There will always be a lingering feeling of regret, since you will always be aware that their presence is there but they are no longer the person you used to know. Losing someone that was once a big part of your life is similar to the feeling of them passing away too.
One can grieve due to losing that opportunity. Knowing that you could’ve done something will haunt you forever. Not knowing what could have been will gnaw at you ever so slowly, and will unconsciously take up space in your mind. What ifs will pop up into your mind once in a while, “What if I just worked harder? What if I pushed myself just a little bit more? What if I actually took a leap of faith?”
We feel grief when we lose something that makes us feel whole. It can be an item of yours that you keep so close to your heart, it can be losing that picture that you always look at when you feel burnt out, it can be that food stall that offers your comfort food. Losing something that helps you cope with life, no matter how little it is, we silently grieve for it.
Losing someone can hurt as much as knowing what should have been. We can grieve for the outing that we should have fun at, the course that we should have taken, the family we should have had, the interview that we should have gone to, even the job we should have had. We can grieve for the things that should have been ours, but didn’t due to circumstances that we can’t control or have a say on, prevent us from possessing it.
Grief is a complex and multifaceted emotion that extends far beyond the loss of a loved one. While death is often the most recognized trigger for grief, we should acknowledge the multiple factors that we as people grieve for amongst ourselves. Grieve for what you’ve lost, grieve for what or who you loved, you can even grieve for what you’ve never had.
